INFP

The search for "Who Am I?" never seems to end. I'm posting some of the answers I found on the web. I didn't write it, so maybe that's why it makes so much sense.  My favorite was this site: http://www.infpblog.com/living-with-infps/infps-and-ocd-behavior/
http://www.infpblog.com/being-infp/infp-advantages-authenticity/

"An INFP Profile By Real INFPs

I always find personality tests fun to do. Anyway, I have been “diagnosed” as INFP since primary school but I never quite liked what I read about this particular profile, it seemed too darned hapless. Anyway, I stumbled across this profile written by an INFP mailing list community who, characteristically, hated the way the established non-INFP psychologists had characterized them. I must say this definitely resonated with me more. So fellow INFPers, read this profile and say “Ah!” all the time. I have bolded the bits which I felt may be true for me.

For INFPs, life is a journey to understand themselves and the world. Where some others may strive for achievements such as degrees and promotions, an INFP tends to consider these as important mainly for their value in making it easier to fulfill the INFP’s life goals.

INFPs value authenticity, acceptance, and the search for meaning in life in both the ordinary events of life and the grand scheme of the universe. One source of sustenance for INFPs are those small, genuine gestures from the heart, be they from loved ones or strangers.

INFPs have many interests and talents. They are generally good at perceiving possibilities for improving the world and understanding others. They are often clear at expressing ideas through language, writing, poetry, and other talents. When an INFP supports a particular project or goal, they can get an extraordinary amount of work done in a short time. On the other hand, INFPs tend to procrastinate and are dissatisfied by detailed work not related to one of their important values. This is one reason INFPs are happier when working at jobs which are related to their values.

Ideas and feelings (and particularly ideas about feelings) form the center of an INFPs existence. As INFPs explore the world, they discover new relationships, concepts, and connections about the universe. This exploration guides INFPs to find values important to themselves.

Many INFPs do not like attempts to impose shoulds and have-tos. These INFPs find absolute systems of rules that everyone must abide to as confining and arbitrary and simply unfair. As such, INFPs may rail against words that imply that a value system can be imposed from the outside.

Sometimes INFPs deny having ideals or principles since it’s possible to equate a reliance on principles with dogmatism and inflexibility. Instead, they prefer to talk about feelings: not momentary emotional states but the personal values on which the feeling function operates.

INFPs often place a high value on harmony, and avoid conflict unless confrontation becomes necessary. Minor, detail oriented, administrative problems are ignored until they stop the progress of any current projects. When his or her projects are threatened, an INFP will either fight for the project/ideal if it’s important enough, or concentrate on another one of his or her interests to avoid a confrontation.

INFPs do not measure life in terms of the number of friends and acquaintances they have but rather by the quality of their friendships. For INFPs, the distinction between friends and acquaintances is very important; an acquaintance is someone they spend time with while a friend is someone with whom an INFP can share ideas and feelings. Their most valuable friends are people who understand their important values and accept them unconditionally.

An INFP’s feelings form the foundations of the individual. They are sacred and binding, in the sense that their emergence requires no further justification. An INFP’s feelings are often guarded, kept safe from attack and ridicule. Only a few, close confidants are permitted entrance into this domain.

INFP’s look at humanity at both the individual (human-to-human) and societal levels. One common discouragement for INFP’s is that societal change often seems impossible. When INFPs become discouraged, they may need some time and space to rediscover their values and a sense of inner peace. The conflict between their ideal world and “reality”, as they see it can cause depression or withdrawal from the world unless they have people that support them in their projects.INFP

Humanists - ‘A man’s a man for a’ that.’

INFPs are insightful and extremely perceptive types who care very passionately about their duties and the things they believe in. As introverts they can be somewhat reserved and so their warmth and idealism are not usually evident until you get to know them better.

INFPs prefer to engage with the outer world through their intuitive process. This means they come across primarily as “ideas people”. In a quiet and sometimes low-key way INFPs will engage others in discussions about their ideas and projects. Abstract theories attract them greatly and so they will confidently discuss theories and observations on life and all its mysteries. 

INFPs often make congenial company. They can have a wry and individualistic sense of humour. They do not have a great need to talk much in social groups or with talkative individuals.  With no strong urge to express him/herself, an INFP will gladly give others the floor and act as listener or observers.

INFPs may prefer to use their intuition in the outer world but they are feelers at heart. The combination of feeling with intuition means most INFPs are sensitive individuals who are acutely aware of “the human condition”. INFPs are more likely to express this sensitivity in writing than in speech and many of our novelists, poets, playwrights and journalists have a preference for INFP.

The types who extravert their feelings (ENFJ and ESFJ) are interested in meeting others’ needs and in living in harmony with them. INFPs, however, as introverted feelers are much more concerned about living in harmony with their own feelings. In effect, this means they have a pressing need to live their lives in accordance with their values. In other words, they have a strong need to be authentic individuals who are true to themselves. 

This approach to life leads many INFPs into jobs where it is easy for them to have a sense of mission or purpose. This may be teaching, the clergy or counselling. Many become academics. But it is not uncommon for INFPs to enter careers where it’s hard for them to feel they are living in congruence with their values. Then INFPs can feel dissatisfied -both because they can’t see the social benefit of what they are doing and because it doesn’t feel right for them as individuals. When this happens it is easy for the INFP to feel acutely alienated and unfulfilled. If this feeling persists INFPs can become cynical. 

It can be difficult to really get to know INFPs. Of all the types they can be very “deep” and they often claim that other people don’t really understand what makes them tick. Yet relationships are incredibly important to INFPs and they usually need to feel connected to others in some way. They can be very good at reading between the lines and picking up on how others are feeling. They are good listeners and they will sensitively help others talk about problems and come up with solutions which are right for that person. INFPs regularly say they particularly enjoy helping people to feel good about themselves. Others value INFPs’ sensitivity and it is often to an INFP that people will turn for support in their darkest hour. INFPs can, however, be critical and dismissive of people who do not live their lives with integrity. 

INFPs will be very courageous if they see other people being badly treated but generally they can be unassertive and indirect in their communications and will usually avoid conflict if they can. 

All P types find organisation hard to master, but INFPs find it particularly difficult. They tend to be unmethodical in their approach to tasks and as Ns they often don’t pay enough attention to practical details. Unless they have consciously trained themselves to be methodical, INFPs usually feel under confident in this area of their life, knowing intuitively that at any moment their scant attention to practical details could present major problems.

INFPs have to be careful that their idealism does not make them perfectionists. If it does they may never complete projects, such as writing a book, for fear it is not good enough or they may never have a truly close relationship because they never meet the “perfect” person. This idealism and perfectionism can also be turned against themselves. Of all the types, INFPs and ISFPs, can be extremely self-critical. 

Ultimately success in life for INFPs depends on them finding ways to honour their deeply held values and feel authentic while at the same time keeping this side of themselves within useful bounds. Accepting that life is by definition imperfect and full of compromises may be difficult for INFPs but it will help them feel more self-confident and fulfilled.  Enhancing their time management and organisational skills is usually important for most INFPs as it can make them more effective. 

INFP overview

Words to describe INFPs

perceptive insightful         creative

reserved    empathetic supportive

committed innovative gentle

idealistic         flexible         curious

deep loyal compassionate 

Careers attractive to INFPs

Counselling, academia, teaching, writing, the ministry, psychology, science.    

Needs at work

•               The opportunity to feel authentic and to serve their ideals

•               Encouragement, validation and support

•               Room for manoeuvre 

•               The opportunity to  reflect and work alone

•               May need encouragement to express their views

Anticipated work/team strengths

•               Coming up with new ideas and concepts (particularly communicating them in writing). 

•               Finding new and different ways to do tasks.

•               Supporting colleagues with well-judged praise and encouragement. 

•               Quietly ensuring that the organisation works with integrity.

•               Helping to foster a team approach.

Potential problem areas

•               May be  unassertive in expressing their opinions and so not make as much of a contribution to the team’s thinking as they might.

•               May come over as a bit “holier than thou”. 

•               May sweep potential problems under the carpet and not deal with them in a timely fashion.

•               May tackle too many things at the one time and not manage their workload effectively.

•               May procrastinate or spend too much time reflecting rather than acting.. 

Likely areas for improvement

•               Learning to be generally more independent and assertive, especially in handling conflict and criticism.

•               Becoming more methodical in how they set about tasks. 

•               Learning to manage their time better and to take more effective action.

•               Becoming more realistic and less idealistic – e.g. accepting imperfections as a part of life.

•               Paying more attention to practical details. 

Common relationship Issues for INFPs

INFPs show caring by unobtrusively getting to know people well and then communicating their empathy when needed often in low-key, sensitive communications –e.g. writing notes or phoning at important times for the other.  

INFPs like others to act in ways which show appreciation of them as unique individuals and/or validates their insights or ideas in some way. 

INFP Type Dynamics

Dominant – feeling – introverted

Auxiliary -  intuition - extraverted

Tertiary   -   sensing

Inferior   -    thiinking  

This profile information is copyright and for review only. If you would like to buy a version of this for workshop/coaching use please see details about Enspired Profiles. 

© Carol Craig

MBTI, Myers-Briggs, and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator are registered trademarks or trademarks of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Trust in the United States and other countries; OPP Ltd. has exclusive rights to these trademarks in the UK. 

INFP Personality Type in Gifted People

On the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, INFP is rare personality type, found in only about

4 % of the general population.  Yet, of the possible 16 types, it is the one most frequently found for gifted people.  This scarcity, coupled with their extreme intelligence, renders them seldom understood, and thus, rarely validated in relationships.  

The following material is based on qualitative research involving in-depth interviews with eight highly gifted INFP adults and my clinical experience consulting with families of gifted people for 25 years including administering and interpreting personality type indicators with families of approximately 400 gifted children.

        

Representative abbreviated responses to their preferences and life experiences show:

This personality type affects their learning styles by:  liking to concentrate on projects, and learn with a long range vision in mind; and disliking details.  They are especially interested in possibilities for people.  They need teachers to be flexible and love to explore ideas, things or places.  They also need to have the personal feeling of being appreciated understand concepts or situations before experiencing them. They tend not to like competition and are bored with routine.  They may be slow in answering because they need to consider the many possibilities.  

School experiences were greatly about their relationship with their teachers, respect and encouragement.  In school, lack of confidence and social isolation was evidenced in several recollections:  °I felt like an outsider.  I was respected, but I wasn't popular.  °I was really fearful; terrified of school.  I cried most days up through third grade.  Nothing could have externally been scaring me.  It was more internal disposition that I was bringing. ...I was really self conscious.  °I had a lot of difficult experiences.  (Difficulty) forming a sense of identity for myself. °I didn't feel there were enough people like me.  °I didn't feel popular."  

These INFPs are striving for self identity.  Inquiry showed that they are high in feeling like they are impostors.  Taking the MBTI gave them relief and legitimacy.  Interpretation validated their right to be who they are and soothed their self concept.  Subjects also had great enthusiasm for the interview process.

These INFPs described themselves as:  a survivor, I believe in beauty; thoughtful, creative, SENSITIVE,  loving, helpful, reflective, warm hearted, smart, a perfectionist, good friend, generous, caring, compassionate, reflective, warm hearted, loyal, kind, responsible, nice.

In response to:  What are some of your personal qualities that you would like to be different? : ° I wish I were more confident; weren't so sensitive; not be as hard on myself; not so insecure; not take things personally all the time; less sensitive; a little more organized; being a procrastinator.

In interpersonal relationships, INFPs tend to make deep commitments and are concerned about relationships and harmony.  The people they prize most are those who take the time to understand their values and the goals they are working toward. They had the least confidence that they are actually being helpful to other people.  Males can be seen by others as too gentle, passive and may lack the qualities associated with traditional maleness.  

For ways you sometimes feel misunderstood by other people, responses included:  °I feel misunderstood a lot!  °I could do a dissertation on that!  In one way, it's when people don't know who I am.  I guess they take me for something I'm not.  °When I say what I want and people don't hear it.  °People think I'm more confident than I am.  °I'm more sensitive than other people think I am.  °I'm more hurt.  °Why do I Always Need to Explain?' is my theme song.  °A lot of people are driven by things.  I'm coming from a different perspective.  It's like the whole base there is not understood.

What are some of your recurrent difficulties in your interpersonal relationships?:  Several said that they tend to be more unmerciful and severe on themselves than they are on others.  °Too busy, Can't give enough time to others.  °I get really hurt; I'm sensitive.  °People think I can handle it.  °I don't have as much confidence as people think I have.  °I'm impatient when working with other people because I work by myself a lot. °Going off on tangents; being different; non specific; I change my mind.  °I like working by myself.

In response to, "What would you secretly like to tell people about how to relate well to you," qualities of self concepts and interpersonal relationships were illustrated:  °Be patient, allow craziness; I'll come around.  I'm processing inward.  °Be honest.  Do not make me a victim.  °Be gentler with me.  Understand me, accept me the way I am, and help me to accept myself.  °Just be themselves, honest.  °Listen and not prejudge things; really listen.  

Responses to, How would you like people to remember you?  summarize the composite of these people.  Their legacies are portrayed by:  °How much I loved.  °As a nice person and someone who had good ideas.  °That I tried.  °I want people to be better because they met me, not worse.  °As somebody who cared, and as somebody who people thought loved them.  °As having made a difference in their life...that I've made a difference in the world.  °Caring, empathetic, trustworthy, insightful, always seeking the truth.

In conclusion, these are deep, complex, somewhat melancholy people who are hard to understand.  

©2004 Elizabeth A. Meckstroth

INFP - Introvert iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

Performing Noble Service to Aid Society

If there is a single word that defines this types, it is idealist. As Introverted Feelers, they discover their ideals through a subjective interpretation of the world, and put those ideals to use to help others in a variety of ways. They are often the "Joans (or Johns) of Arc" who seek fulfillment through performing noble service to aid society.

INFPs have their own self-imposed "codes" for life, and while they have little need to share or impose them on others, they can be very strict with themselves about following these regimens. But in general, INFPs tend to be easygoing and congenial. They would prefer to "fit in" harmoniously rather than to create waves -- as long as they can do so without violating their ideals. Yet when others do trample on INFPs' codes, INFPs can become very demanding and extremely aggressive, often to the suprise of both themselves and others. This tendency may be best illustrated by the mother who feels her child has been treated unjustly by his or her school. The normally quiet INFP mother leaves no stone unturned in full pursuit of rectifying the injustice and creating a better environment -- not only for her child but for others, who will also benefit from the change.

Male INFPs can be seen by others, particularly macho traditionalists, as too gentle, even wimpy. The INFPs' generally passive, live-and-let-live exterior, however admirable, may lack the take-charge quality often associated with maleness -- until they feel that their value system is threatened, that is. Then, the easygoing ways (of male and female INFPs alike) can give way to harsh rigidity. For staff, friends, and mates who don't understand this characteristic, the INFP can seem, at best, a source of mixed signals -- pliant one moment, rigid the next -- and, at worst, a deep, complex, even somewhat melancholy person who is hard to understand. When a male INFP marries an Extravert, society may view his mate as domineering and demanding. In actuality, for the marriage to succeed, the mate must quickly learn the limits of her mandate to take charge.

These very same qualities in an INFP female are more socially acceptable, even admired. While the INFP males' quiet stubbornness can make him seem simultaneously unforceful yet rigid, the INFP female may be respected for her inner strength. Her determination conveys power and makes others feel secure.

INFPs resist being labeled and are often driven to do things that shake the way others view them. This can on occasion lead INFPs to be unpredicatable, even outrageous. A docile INFP we know was invited to a staff costume party where guests were instructed to dress as "who you really are." She came as Madonna, the eccentric eighties rock singer, bedecked in jewelry and silky clothing. Her colleagues were shocked by her display -- but she wasn't.

Like all iNtuitive-Feelers, the INFP strives for self-identity, self-knowledge, and self-defintion. "Who am I?" is an all-important question. More so than all other NFs, however, the INFPs find in their preferences further material and inspiration for this never-ending quest. Their Introversion fosters inward reflection, their iNtuition ensures and endlessly remifying sense of the possibilities inherent in the self, their Feeling guides them to reflect on how such potential could both benefit themselves and their relations with others, and their Perceiving keeps them open to a constant flow of new data. It's not unusual for an INFP to get out of bed reflecting (Introversion), "Who am I and where's my life going today?" There may be a number of possible answers (iNtuition) -- "I'm a father," "I'm a mate," "I'm a teacher," and the like -- as well as a consideration of how those attributes might be deployed in the service of self and others (Feeling). Deciding these are all interesting issues to contemplate, the INFP may then, in the search for more information (Perceiving), set off for school or work, there to start the process again. Even if these questions are not consciously raised, the identity issues are always percolating. The INFPs' reflective, open-ended approach to life produces far more questions than answers.

The INFPs' home and work are may be rife with little piles of "to-do's" -- reading, ironing, artwork, writing. These things will always be there. In fact, they will increase as the INFPs' interests and concerns grow throughout life. It's helpful for INFPs to learn to live with this rather than punish themselves for seeming "failures." In general, home and family relationships are more relaxed than rigid; schedules are always subject to change because of others' immediate needs. Neatness often takes a backseat to interpersonal warmth and affirmation, except when company is expected, in which case perfection is the name of the game in the desire to serve others. INFPs prefer to give in to others rather than to argue points that may lead to disharmony. Still, all of this may fly out the window if an INFP's "codes" are "violated", and then a relaxed home gives way to strict rules and schedules.

The same dynamic applies to parenting. An INFP parent may focus on a few carefully cultivated values. If these are respected, the INFP parent is typically easygoing and quick to meet a child's needs. In general, the INFP parent is positive and affirming and a child will find in that parent a friend in whom they can confide. If there are parenting weaknesses, they are probably related to INFPs' first preference, Introversion: INFPs may be slow to give overt, positive strokes, not because they don't feel approval, but because they find it difficult to express; and to their last preference, Perceiving, which may cause them to avoid providing the structure and organization that a child may need.

Introversion may also plague INFPs' relationships: they may feel far more love and warmth than they are able to express. In any relationship involving INFPs, there will be growth, affirmation, and self-fulfillment for both of the parties involved, but sometimes the combination of the Introversion and Feeling preferences causes them to avoid discussing issues that they fear may cause disagreement. For example, an INFP may, after much inner debate, conclude that some kind of change is necessary, and may then spring this conclusion on an unprepared partner. Thus, the INFP's decision to quit a job and go to graduation school (or convince the mate to do so) may be presented as a fait accompli, not a subject open for discussion, and the unsuspecting mate may be shocked into a new view of their relationship when a formerly pliant INFP shows new drive, determination, and rigidity, far out of proportion to the issue involved.

This INFP complexity -- an easygoing exterior masking a complusive interior -- may make for inner stress. The result can be a variety of serious health problems: ileitis, colitis, and other stomach or intestinal problems. They may be particularly prone to such ailments when the needs of others prevent them from being able to relax and enjoy themselves. INFPs can easily make maryrs of themselves.

As children, INFPs' deceptively easygoing natures may cause others to take them for granted. INFP children have a high need to please parents -- and be stroked for it. Generally, they are tender and sensitive to the world around them and, like their INFP elders, often give in to others at the expense of their own needs. If such self-sacrifice is not appreciated or, even worse, is criticized, the INFP child can become sullen, self-critical, often overpersonalizing each remark. The potential for martyrdom begins early. INFP children can spend a disproportionate amount of time daydreaming and being preoccupied with inner thoughts. They are often good students and expend a lot of energy pleasing their teachers. They tend to do well in high school, and often excel in college. To please others, they may take courses they do not like -- and even succeed in them. The potential for self-doubt and self-criticism, however, is always close to the surface. Even when told they have done a "good job," INFPs know the only true judge is themselves, and may punish themselves for work they consider less than perfect.

In general, while INFPs love to learn, grow, excel, and please others, they are always their own worst critics; they often remind themselves that they could have done better. It is a life-long struggle between self-approbation and self-depreciation. In the end, INFPs almost always tend to sell themselves short.

Family events for an INTP are expressions of the essentials of life, and a lot of energy can be directed to celebating such family rituals as birthdays, anniversaries, or graduations. Loyalty and service to the family can keep an INFP a "child" at any age and always close -- psychologically, if not physically -- to parents and family.

The values that shape INFPs' family life and personal growth patterns highlight their career choices: integrity, hard work, idealism, sensitivity, and concern for other people. INFPs also bring their self-criticism and perfectionism to the workplace, which can sometimes hamper their natural skills. An INFP may be an excellent musician or a superb teacher, but even if showered with accolades, INFPs may never quite be satisfied. Their high learning abilities may lead them to careers in which they excel academically but for which they are typologically somewhat miscast. The daughter of an engineer may pursue that career to please her father -- and find it academically very attainable and challenging -- although as a NFP, she may find that world of engineering foreign, even hostile, turf.

Those careers that involve human service are the ultimate home of the INFP: psychology, teaching, family medicine, and church work, for example. In the long haul, what INFPs choose as a career must serve their own idealism. If it doesn't, they can become restless and stressed and their work can become sloppy and counterproductive.

Retirement tend to be relished by INFPs because the little piles of to-do's they have been amassing for eyars can be rearranged, pondered, and finally tackled. They tend not to "slow down" in later life, approaching their postcareer hobbies with the same intensity they once reserved for children and careers. They may approach retirement with a particular joy if it allows them to leave a traditional career or job that imposed the kind of structure and rigidity that INFPs resist. Still appearing externally relaxed, they tend to continue to be internally driven by a call to serve humanity -- in the form of children, grandchildren, organizations, causes, or any other local or world issues.

Abraham Lincoln quite possibly personifies the INFP. As a young man, seeing slaves loaded into a boat, he took the cause of freedom into his heart, ultimately imposing his crusade on the entire nation. Isabel Briggs Myers, another INFP, carried on her mission -- that people learn how to use their personality differences more constructively and creatively -- throughout her entire life. From age twenty to eighty, she endlessly created, researched, and refind the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Carl Rogers, one of the pillars of American modern psychology, saw the need for a therapeutic model that enhanced individual self-development -- itself, an INFP cause, and spent his life developing nondirective counseling.

Living Happily in our World as an INFP

Some INFPs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are often a result of an unawareness of appropriate social behavior, an unawareness of how they come across to others, or unrealistic expectations of others. Any one of the above issues stem from using Extraverted iNtuition in a diminished manner.

An INFP who takes in information for the sake of understanding the world around them, rather than one who takes in information only to support their own ideas, will have a clearer, more objective understanding of how society values social behaviors and attitudes. He or she will also be more aware of how they are perceived by others, and will have more realistic expectations for others’ behavior within a relationship. Such well-adjusted INFPs will fit happily into our society.

Unless you really understand Psychological Type and the nuances of the various personality functions, it is difficult to suddenly start to use iNtuition in an Extraverted direction. It is difficult to even understand what that means, much less to incorporate that directive into your life. With that in mind, I am providing some specific suggestions that may help you to begin exercising your Extraverted iNtuition more fully:

* Take care to notice what people look like in different social situations. Look at their hair, their skin, their makeup (or lack thereof), their clothes, the condition of their clothes, their shoes, their facial expressions. Do not compare others to your own appearance, or pass judgment on their appearance, simply take in the information.

* Think of a situation in your life in which you were not sure how to behave. Now try to understand how one or two other people would see the situation. Do not compare their behavior to your own, i.e. “she would know better than me what to do,” or “why is it so easy for her, but so hard for me?”. Rather, try to understand how they would see the situation. Would it be seen as a problem, or as an opportunity? Would it be taken seriously or lightly? Try to determine their point of view without passing judgment or comparing it to your own.

* When having a conversation with a friend or relative, dedicate at least half of your time to talking about the other person. Concentrate on really understanding where that person is coming from with their concerns. Ask questions.

* Think of the people who are closest to you. As you think of each person, tell yourself “this person has their own life going on, and they are more concerned with their own life than they are with mine.” Remember that this does not mean that they do not care about you. It is the natural order of things.

Try to visualize what that person is doing right now: What things are they encountering, what thoughts are they having? Do not pass judgment, or compare their situation to your own.

* Try to identify the personality type of everyone that you meet for any length of time."


http://www.dunning.ca/blog/illustrations-of-type-infp-9/
http://www.dunning.ca/blog/mistyping-is-your-natural-preference-thinking-or-feeling/